


Conquering Gaz

by SleepySadGorl



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien/Human Relationships, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gaz is a grumpy gorl, How Do I Tag, LESBIAN DEATH FIGHT, Smut, TAGR, Xenophilia, idk yet, ig, maybe???, space lesbians, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25011310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepySadGorl/pseuds/SleepySadGorl
Summary: 5 years have passed, and Tak has returned to Earth with the intention of taking over the filthy planet. The only human standing in her way this time is Dib’s terrifying sister, and Gaz has no intention of making Tak’s job any easier.Things only get more complicated when they begin to realize that maybe they don’t hate each other as much as they first let on.IM VERY BAD AT UPDATING THIS IS ONGOING ITS JUST ON PAUSE MOMENTARILY BECAUSE HOMEWORK IS SHOVED UP MY ASS AT SCHOOL
Relationships: Gaz & Tak (Invader Zim), Gaz/Tak (Invader Zim)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 39





	1. The Hideous New Girl

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on this site and my first Invader Zim fanfiction, so feedback is appreciated and I hope you guys enjoy :)

_When her eyes finally opened again, she was met with the familiar interior of an escape pod._

_[WARNING: FOREIGN TERRAIN DETECTED]  
  
_

_[WARNING: COMBAT SYSTEMS DEFECTIVE]_

_[WARNING: FOREIGN TERRAIN-_

_Groggily, she pushed a button and dismissed the futile warning message. Her brain throbbed in her skull leaving her head fuzzy and numb. The whrr of her PAK running diagnostics reverberated inside her internal auditory receptors. She took a collective sigh. How long had it been inside that doomed pod? Hours? Weeks? It made no difference, really._

_Her joints popped and cracked as she reached out an arm to open the door of the escape pod. Dismantled ships and broken alien hardware lay scattered all throughout the desolate planet the purple clad Irken had crashed on. Outdated battle mech components, wrecked Vortian style starcrafts, bits and pieces of machinery completely foreign to her. Oh, and an Irken escape pod with a broken SIR unit. She let out a defeated groan, muttering obscenities as metal limbs extended from her PAK and lifted her out of the crater made by the pod._

_Explore the terrain: the first step she would've learned in invader training. Rocks, diodes, stray metal, craters, just like dirt but with less.. dirt. Not the worst planet in the galaxy to crash on, but a setback nonetheless. By now, she could've been back on Irk, praised by her Tallest for making the wretched planet useful, praised for finally getting rid of Zim, praised for being the greatest invader the Irken race had ever seen. Her plan was fool-proof; and yet Zim's own stupidity was once again her only downfall. Snarling in detest, she kicked a rock, sending the small object tumbling across the barren terrain._

_Her curled antenna perked when she heard a metallic clank from the rock's collision._   
  


_Turning in the direction of the sound, her violet orbs widened. There, in front of her, was a deserted Irken battle ship that dwarfed the Voot Cruisers and Spittle Runners she had been accommodated to. A Ripper if she remembered correctly. They weren't common to find abandoned on any of the junkyard planets she was sent to, usually these ships were upgraded, this was her first time seeing one that wasn't issued and in use by an Irken elite soldier. By the looks of it, it had been out of commission for years, but it wasn't complete scrap metal like many of the surrounding ships._

_A smile stretched across her pale green face. She could get the ship up and running. This ship wouldn't go down as easily as her Tak Runner. Her next stop was the filthy, primitive planet that she had failed to conquer last time; except now, Tak was determined not to let another inferior human mess it up, again._

-

"So, what the hell are you doing here?"

The indigo haired girl closed the metal locker door to see a familiar face staring down at her. Gaz Membrane had aged well, now taller, her body having adapted the strangely aesthetic curves of other Earth females. Her dark purple locks were still framed around her face like fangs, and her heavy eyelashes hid her eyes in the trademark glare she always wore.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Gazlene?" She tilted her head, a glint flickering across her violet iris. Gaz showed no reaction. 'It looks like her intelligence didn't wear over the years.'

"I'm not fucking stupid. The only thing keeping me from ruining you is the fact that I really don't give a shit." She narrowly opened an eye.

"Remember your place, human." Tak scoffed. "I'm the superior being here, in both mind and body."

"Last I checked, you were barely five feet tall."

Tak clenched a false fist. "I could kill you, Earth-girl."

"And I could squash you like a bug, Space-bitch."

The teen stooped slightly to glare the Irken in her false eyes. She continued.

"Look. I already have one annoying alien starting shit in my life. I don't need another. You're more tolerable than Zim; don't make me change my mind. And for the love of god, don't call me Gazlene."

Standing and turning on the balls of her feet, Gaz left, her attention averted to the portable Game Slave in her hands. Same smart girl, same goddamned careless attitude. Tak did have to give credit where it was due, Gaz already had her figured out, it seemed. She was still the same terrifying girl, as well.

_’Maybe_ _she's coded to be the humans’ next Tallest.’_

Tak shuttered at the thought then scolded herself for comparing such an inferior creature to the leaders of her mighty empire.

To say Gaz was surprised to see the familiarly disguised Irken at skool that day was an overstatement by far. From the moment Dib opened his mouth to tell her how he stopped Tak, she knew he had to have messed up somewhere. He always did. Even when he swore up and down that Tak was gone, the only remnant of her left on Earth was her ship that fell from space, Gaz felt it was only a matter of time before she returned. If the teen was to be surprised about anything, it was the fact that the alien hadn't returned sooner.

Her older brother's words went in one ear and out the other as they walked home, her mind focused on her game more than anything else. Every day they walked home together, and every day Gaz prayed half heartedly for a Mack Truck to swerve by and hit her annoying sibling. Dib was 17 now, but he hadn't changed much over the years. He still obsessed over aliens, ghosts, and any paranoia paraphernalia he could dig up on the internet. Strangely, he hadn't brought up the new alien at skool. The very thought of actually engaging in a conversation about aliens with her brother already made her head ache, but she decided to bring it up anyway. Maybe it would be fun watching Dib make a fool of himself with another alien.

"I'm halfway through this boss and you seriously haven't mentioned Tak being at skool?"

Dib turned to his sister with a confused expression. "You mean the new girl? We have calculus together, I think."

Gaz raised a brow. "Cut the shit, Dib."

When he paused to shoot her a strange look, she grumbled. Her attention was now focused back on her consol. Talking to her stupid brother had cost her 15 HP.

"You really don't know what I'm talking about?"

".. no?"

That somewhat unexpected. Dib was the only other person Gaz knew that couldn't be manipulated by Tak. Perhaps the alien was smarter than Gaz had imagined. Or maybe Dib was just stupid.

The latter sounded better.

-

As opposed to constructing an outrageously enormous weenie stand filled to the brim with Irken machinery, Tak settled for a puny human house to pose as her base on Earth. With the help of the mind-altering implant in her skull, she had convinced the stupid family that lived inside to move far, far away and leave their home to her. Earth technology was primitive, but over night Tak was able to create a suitable base underground to hold her advanced machinery.

Currently, branched hundreds of feet under the Earth's surface, Tak was stationed in the main lab in front of a large super computer. Thick wires ran from a port in the computer's console into the head of a modified SIR unit. Lines of code flooded the screen, Tak scanning every Irken numeral, deleting and retyping anything that was out of place. It had taken her nearly two hours to fix the damage done to Mimi's software by Gir. Like Tak, Mimi could only take so much stupidity before shutting down altogether.

"Finally." Tak sighed, pressing the finish button.

The small android's eyes lit up, circuits whrring to life. Standing up straight, the robot saluted in Tak's direction, silently. Mimi was incapable of speech, but as she surveyed her new surroundings, she seemed happy to see her master. Well, as happy as an emotionless android could be.

"Mimi, disguise yourself," Tak commanded, smiling in content when the hologram kicked on and a black feline with crimson eyes took the SIR's place. "Excellent work."

She reached out a three-fingered hand, allowing Mimi to rub her head against her palm similar to that of a real cat. Tak would refuse to admit it, but it had been lonely stranded on that desolate planet without so much as another stupid janitorial drone, this time. Of course, she didn't have the resources to fix her beloved SIR then and there. Fixing the Ripper had been her first priority and whatever salvaged tech she gathered from that planet would be used to upgrade her Mimi.

Allowing the robot to wonder and await her commands, Tak leaned back in her chair and thought towards her plans. At the moment, she wasn't able to connect a signal to reach her Tallest and report to them of her location. But she had already used her one chance at becoming a true invader, hadn't she? And just like becoming the Elite Soldier she was meant to be, that too was taken from her.

It didn't matter.

If the Tallest could not see her for Irk's greatest Invader then she would make them see it. In the dim confines of her lab, Tak got back to work; but the violet haired teen stood a looming shadow in the back of her mind.

She knew Gaz couldn’t ruin anything this time.


	2. Girls are Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls get into a fight.

"You never answered my question."

Tak jolted at the sudden presence beside her. Skool was out and she was walking back to her base  _alone_.  Gaz following her back was something unexpected. 

"How long have you been following me?" The Irken raised a brow, suspiciously.

"That's besides the point,  _ Tak _ ." Gaz averted her gaze from the small handheld screen to the alien accompanying her. "Yesterday. I asked you what you were doing here, exactly. Nice job playing stupid, but you could at least answer me while I pretend to care."

Tak rolled her eyes. She hadn't counted on chaperoning Gaz on her walk back home, but while she was here Tak could at least humor the girl.

"If you must know, I'm here to destroy this disgusting planet and claim my rightful title as an Irken Elite Invader. Before long, this hideous ball of dirt will be property of the Irken Empire." 

"Looks like you have it all thought out, then." The girl closed her game and crossed her arms. "Why don't you tell me your plan then,  alien?”  
  


The alien in question slowed, unconsciously. "Why would I tell my enemy my plans?" Tak hissed, but the initial widening of her eyes displayed her true reaction.

"You don't have shit, do you?"

Tak snarled. "Of course I have a plan! Your tiny mind may not be able to comprehend it!"

Gaz produced a rare, shit-eating grin and snickered. "Sure thing."

From there, the two walked with a thick silence between them. Public education was a cruel mistress. On Irk, learning was focused toward the important rolls in society, anything less was self explanatory to even the most half-witted of minds. Earth education was so trivial. No wonder most humans are so stupid. In a nutshell, Tak had had a long day of staring at human "teachers" that thought themself superior. Her base was the only sanctuary she had, and the last thing she planned on doing with her time was talking to the scary Dib-sister on top of that. 

"Why are you following me, exactly?" Tak stopped the human girl in her tracks when they reached the Irken's base. Gaz looked up at the her.

_ 'Unexpected.' _

"Why not?" Gaz took a step forward, sinister intent tracing the words.

_ 'By tallest, this human is getting on my nerves.' _

The teen was testing her, no doubt about that. Trying to push her buttons.

And god, it was working.

"Look." Tak snarled, grabbing the collar of the teen's shirt. "You may think you're strong, and perhaps you are, but you're still so insignificant and weak just like every other ape on this forsaken planet. If you know what's good for you, you'll stay out of my way, puny human  _ girl _ ."

The girl stumbled back when Tak released her, the grip wrinkling her shirt. Gaz clenched shaky fists, sending a glare that shot daggers in Tak's direction. Tak offered her a crooked smirk in return and turned to go in. She had anticipated such a reaction from the human.

What she did  _ not  _ anticipate was the hard, blunt force of a steel toed boot practically crunching her spine and a face full of asphalt.

Her disguise flickered as her head collided with the ground. Tak scrambled to her feet and looked at Gaz, fuming with anger. The human shared her expression, the crooked smirk Tak wore plastered on her face, now. Growling, the invader sped towards her, shoving Gaz to the pavement and landing on top of her, pinning her. A fist flew towards Gaz's head, but she managed to dodge it, using all her force to kick her legs out and into the Irken's midsection. Tak fell back, her eyes watering with hot pain as she was sure the something in her squeedlyspooch had ruptured.

The recovery was short lived. Robotic limbs from her PAK tore through the fabric of her backpack, lifting her. Tak grabbed a lock of magenta hair, speeding towards her base. Gaz offered curses and pained yells but was useless against the strong robotic legs dragging her across hot concrete. The door slammed open and Tak slung the girl through the entrance and onto cold hard wood flooring. She glared up at her attacker like a cornered predator, ready to sink her claws into Tak's pale skin.

"Take off the fucking disguise. I wanna remember what you look like before I destroy you."

Wordlessly, the hologram dissipated, revealing the purple-eyed Irken in her true form. Animatronic spider legs set her on the floor to stand in front of her rival, still exposed with dangerous intent. Green lips peeled back in a snarl to reveal rows of sharp, pink-tinted teeth. Piercing violet eyes narrowed in warning. Gaz took one long look at Tak and laughed.

"What's so funny Earth cretin?!" Tak sputtered, her face flushing a darker green. 

"I was joking about the whole five foot tall thing, but you really haven't grown, have you?" 

Tak rolled her monochromatic eyes in revulsion, her antenna pressed flush against her head. "Can we get back to where we were?"

"Of course."

Tak lunged forward, her PAK legs stabbing into the dry wall right next to Gaz's head, leaving large cracks. She swung at the teen's head, sharp claws tearing through black gloves and slicing her cheek deep enough to draw blood. Gaz hissed and spat in the aliens face, much to Tak's disgust. While she gagged and wiped the repulsing human saliva from her face, Gaz seized the opportunity and grabbed ahold of one of her PAK limbs, leaning and using all her weight to bend alien metal until it snapped under the pressure. The Irken tried to push and claw Gaz away to deter her from causing anymore damage, but Gaz pulled hard and insistently on the appendage, ripping out wires and tubes along with it. Tak's skull flooded with warning messages from her PAK.

Blindly, a metal limb ripped from the wall and stabbed at Gaz's head. The teen dodged and swung the heavy metal appendage at Tak's head, sending the alien stumbling backward. The skin split open where the leg had collided with her head, pink blood already flooding out at an alarming rate. She looked up to see Gaz, slowly backing up into the kitchen, not breaking eye contact.

"Mimi!" Tak yelled, the SIR unit speeding toward her master in her cat form. "Get her!"

"Seriously? You're gonna sick your damn cat on me?" 

Gaz's question was short lived. Mimi rushed the girl at inhuman speed, slicing through her ankle and causing her to stumble.

"Shit!"

She swung the metal beam Mimi with no luck, scratches and bites ripping through the flesh of her legs as the small robot circled her, taunting her. Gaz let out a frustrated huff, gripping her weapon so tight her knuckles turned white and her wrists shook. Cracking open an eye, Gaz's slim amber iris followed the SIR with every move, raising the appendage above her head, waiting for the right moment...

A loud metallic  _ clang  _ erupted through the house as Gaz brought the leg down on Mimi's head, sending her skidding across the floor and into the wall. The hologram cut and the robot laid motionless on the floor. Gaz huffed and turned to where her rival stood to find she wasn't there anymore. Tak charged toward her back, slamming her forward into the kitchen counter with such force Gaz nearly puked. The teen was winded, and Tak used this opportunity to keep her pinned down, grabbing her hair and slamming her face first into the counter.

Uselessly, Gaz flailed her arms in an attempt to grab something to hit Tak with. The Irken continued to slam her head into the counter with every ounce of strength until her nose bled and her forehead was crimson and bruising. Gaz stretched her arm out, reaching for the extendable nozzle on the sink. It was farther away than she anticipated, the wood digging into her gut as she stretched as far as the alien allowed. She felt her lip bust from the pressure of her teeth and her vision go fuzzy. A surge of anger filled energy coursed through her veins like burning magma, giving her enough strength to grab the faucet sprayer and turn the water on full blast. 

"FUCK!" A jet of scalding water sprayed Tak's face, making her scream and drop the teen, her skin sizzling and bubbling. 

Gaz turned, leaning her back against the counter, taking hard heavy breaths. Her lungs burned and the taste of metallic blood quickly pooled in her mouth. She reached a fist up to wipe the blood from her nose on her arm, glaring over at Tak. She wasn't in much better condition, a burning heap on the floor speckled with her own blood. They stared at each other, wordlessly. Strangely enough, the tension was higher  before they beat the everloving shit out of each other.

"Damn." Gaz finally stated, inspecting the drying blood on her fingers. "Not bad."

"... Thank you." 

The teen stood to her full height, nodding in Tak's direction. "See you Monday."

With that, she left, leaving the front door wide open and leaving Tak  very  confused. Rubbing her head, the Irken stood, using her now three robotic legs to walk over the puddle of water in the floor to her now dysfunctional SIR unit. Fortunately, only a few wires were knocked out of place. Tak picked up her robot and started toward the elevator for her base. 

What the  fuck  was that about? One minute she swore up and down she could kill that human, and the next Tak found herself.. calm. She wasn't angry with Gaz, no, if anything she almost found herself impressed with her. The very thought made her snarl. It was ridiculous,  impressed  by the enemy. Her tallest would never see to it. Before long, this girl too would be bowing before her awesome might. 

As she sat down to re-solder the components in Mimi's head, Tak found she couldn't stop thinking about that evening. The way Gaz fought against her, her agility, the complete look of apathy on her face as she looked down at the wounds Tak had given her. In her own disgusting human way, she was almost charming.

God, Tak wished she was taller than that purple haired bitch.

-

Dib looked up from his laptop at the sound of the front door slamming open. By no means was he surprised when Gaz ditched him before skool let out, but he did  not  expect her to come back in the condition she was in. Bloody and bruised abrasions covered her arms and dried blood that pooled down from her nose stained her shirt. Her lip was swollen and split and her hair was a matted, tangled mess. This was the worst he'd seen his little sister since that guy had cut in front of her at GameStop. 

"Oh my god, Gaz, what happened?" Dib stood to his feet, pushing the computer aside. 

"Calm down, Dib, I'm fine." She stated, shutting the door and starting towards the stairs.

"But, Gaz! What- How'd this happen?" His older-brother instincts were kicking in.

Gaz huffed and turned to look at him. 

"Alien girls are complicated."

With that, she walked upstairs and headed straight for the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her, leaving her brother confused and his questions unanswered. Dib's worry was understandable; she looked like hell. Gaz had gotten into fights before, sure, but they all felt one sided and easy. The worst she had ever walked away with were a few bruises and wasted time. This was something new entirely. 

She took a pause from her thoughts to pull off her turquoise shirt and inspect the damage done to her chest and neck. Red, burning, three-fingered scratch marks etched her skin, the beginnings of bruises forming under them. She grunted softly as she pressed a cold, damp rag against the hot wound, cleaning herself of the dried blood plastered to her skin.

In her 16 years of life, Gaz never put much thought toward her feelings. She seldom felt the need to express her emotions like everyone else (excluding the common occurrence that Dib pissed her off) Damn everyone at school that thought she was a sociopath. Gaz was comfortably content with herself; but from the moment she laid eyes on Tak since she had returned, Gaz found for the first time she truly didn't know how to feel. She didn't hate Tak. Even after the girl had dragged her by the hair against jagged concrete and pummeled her head into a kitchen counter, Gaz didn't hate her. 

"Damn!" Gaz swore as hydrogen peroxide stung the lacerations and the deep red flesh began to sizzle. If this was how Tak felt after being attacked with polluted Earth water, maybe Gaz would've felt sorry for her. Surely her dad had made some kind of antibiotic that healed wounds quickly with science or whatever, but she knew better than to ask for it in her condition. When he was home and Dib came back looking all kinds of fucked up, that was expected. But last time the professor saw his daughter looking half as beat up as she did now, hell broke lose. 

Finally, Gaz stood back to look at her handiwork. The deep gashes were covered by bandaids while the scrapes and bruises were left exposed and irritated. It was a shoddy patch job, but she could deal with it. With a restless sigh, Gaz turned off the bathroom lights and retreated to her bedroom, silently hoping she wouldn't have to explain to Dib what happened that evening.

-

Monday came around quicker than anticipated. Teens and aliens disguised as teens alike all gathered in the skoolyard at the ungodly hours of morning waiting for their proverbial hell to begin. Tak stood in her disguise, leaned against the concrete staircase in hopes none of the humans would approach her, let alone start a conversation.

“Hey.”

Tak flinched and turned as she heard the familiar voice behind her. Her Irken flesh had begun healing itself as soon as her epidermal layer was compromised; it was apparent that this wasn’t the case in humans. Gaz still had the faint bruises and slowly healing wounds Tak had given her.

“Is this a traditional human greeting?” Tak replied sarcastically and tried to look past the marks left on Gaz’s olive skin.

“Shut it.” Gaz leaned against the brick exterior of the skool, crossing her arms. It was strange not having the Game Slave in her hands; she didn’t know what to do with them. “I wanna talk to you.”

“About?”

“Friday. Last week.”

The Irken frowned. “If it’s an apology you request, human-“

“No. That’s petty.” The teen hesitated after that. “I don’t hate you, Tak. You’re not as shit a fighter as Zim either. I respect that, I guess.”

The Irken raised a brow. “You’re serious?”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have bothered walking over here.”

The alien girl took a minute to ponder this. It was uncommon to get words of praise from a creature taller than herself, even if the difference wasn’t as great in her disguise.  
“I suppose I don’t hate you, as well. Even in your smeet years, you proved yourself a strong human soldier.“ Tak bowed her head slightly toward the taller human, forgetting herself. “You have impressed even me.” 

Gaz opened her eyes, unsure of what to say. Were Irkens even capable of-

“Don’t get any any ideas, human.” Tak quickly added, standing straight and assuming the posture of the Irken soldier she was. “I am still superior.”

There it was. 

“You’re not as lame as I thought you were, space girl.”

Before anything else could be said, the skool bell rang. Just as she came, Gaz was gone again, leaving the Irken alone in the crowd. What was she thinking, opening up to the enemy? To the one person who could destroy everything she had worked toward? With these thoughts, Tak started to class. She didn’t realize she wanted praise from the human girl; but now that she had it, it felt so.. amazing.

_ ‘Human girls are complicated.’ _


	3. Not so Completely Useless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tak begins to re-evaluate her plan on killing Gaz.
> 
> Tak finally finishes her base.

The cafeteria was uproarious with the clatter of trays and the blaring conversations of teens. Then again, what was to be expected from a room full of idiots? A bomb could go off in the hallway and the chaos would deem everyone in the lunchroom unaware. 

Zim's annoying screeches of agony cut through the din like butter.

The small alien was nearly leaning off his seat, flailing his arms and screaming. His hair, clothes, and lunch table were tainted by a complete mess of spilled beans. His skin steamed and pulsated at the contact with the vile Earth vegetable. Much of his audience quickly lost interest as Zim's dramatic display lasted for a good 90 seconds. As quickly as he had began screeching, he stopped, climbing up on the table to glare down around the lunchroom.

"Who dare assault _me_ , the all powerful ZIM, with these.. BEANS?!" 

The Irken made a show of scanning the room, his eyes quickly falling upon a certain large-headed boy with an empty, bean smeared food tray in his hand. Zim pointed an accusing finger at him. 

"Dib-smelly! As I suspected!"

Dib dropped the metal tray to the floor and gestured to the alien with both arms.

"Come on guys! This had been going on for nearly seven years! Tell me what normal person has this kind of 'allergic reaction’ to the skool's beans."

"Listen to him not!" By the looks of it, most everyone was already doing just that. "What could ZIM have possibly done to deserve such a cruel fate? Why, even now I feel my human organs imploding in the presence of such beans!"

"You pushed me down the stairs this morning,  _ Zim _ ," Dib spat, ignoring the alien's fake display of intestinal distress. Dib's hair was a mess, the wire of his glasses was bent out of place, and faint shoe-prints littered his shirt and the side of his head. The whole bean thing was pretty petty, but so was pushing your enemy down a flight of stairs to be trampled. 

"I have done no such thing!" Zim insisted, crossing his arms defensively.

"Give it up, alien! Only an idiot would actually think you're a normal human!" 

"LIES! THE LARGE HEADED BEAST LIES!" Zim screeched, looking around the room. "Do not listen to the crazy Dib! HE is the alien, not ZIM! Observe as I remove his big head mask and expose his true identity!"

Zim leaped from the table and onto Dib's head, frantically pulling at his mess of dark hair and ripping at his scalp. The boy screamed and tried to pull the alien off his head with no luck, Zim keeping a tight grip on him. Dib flailed around and dodging the lunch tables and getting the attention of the majority of the cafeteria. 

"He's tearing my scalp! Help! Gaz!"

At the name, people watching turned to the magenta haired girl sitting across the room. Gaz cringed and lowered her head, gripping her Game Slave with white knuckles and aggressively punching buttons. With any luck, Dib wouldn't try and get her to pull Zim off his head. Last time, she nearly lost a finger. Any minute now, one of the lunch ladies would pry them apart like they did every Thursday. 

"If we  _ ever  _ get to that point, just put me out of my misery."

"I'd jump at the chance." Tak sat beside her, poking at the revolting substance on her tray and watching the idiots clash before her with disgusted amusement. 

For the past week, their relationship had been strange. From their first encounter, Tak had assumed Gaz would be a thorn in her side. Surprisingly enough, this wasn't the case. At skool, one could mistake the two for friends. They sat next together at lunch when Dib was busy making a fool of himself, and Gaz never seemed to terrify the strange new girl. Every once in a while, they would even talk to each other. After skool ended, however, things were different.

Whether they walked to Tak's base together or Gaz found her way there alone, the two had a habit of fighting. Well, a habit, more or less an addiction. Gaz wasn't happy unless she was angry, something Tak related to. Fighting with either words or fists brought them both a feeling of complete euphoria. Engaging in self-destructive behavior with a scary gamer girl must be therapeutic. The feeling of being respected by a creature like Gaz was the greatest high Tak got from their occasional after-skool confrontations. Tak would almost forget that the girl was inferior; it felt more like being honored by one of her own. 

Tak still planned to destroy her, though.

"Didn't you come here to kill Zim or whatever?" Gaz sounded less than interested, but that was only until she heard an affirmative.

"My plan was never to kill the moron." The Irken grimaced. "Zim is a lost cause and I refuse to waste my time on such an idiot. Conquering his planet will prove much more rewarding.”

"But you could still kill him, couldn't you?"

"Of course."

The girl didn't give her an unnecessary response and Tak didn't take one. She rested her head in her hand and watched as Zim and Dib were dragged out of the cafeteria by one of the largest lunch ladies Tak had seen on this (or any) planet. Zim screamed for Miranda's rights while Dib accepted his fate with crossed arms and an irritated expression. She shuttered and looked over at Gaz. Embarrassing herself and ruining her name for the sake of the mission wasn't ideal. Gaz reciprocated the feeling, but could they end up stooping as low as Zim or Dib? The human girl  was  her greatest enemy.

"Just so you know, human- _thing_ ,  if you ever assault my head with disgusting Earth beans, I  will  end you."

"If  _ you _ push me down a flight of stairs I'll snap you in half like a toothpick. Your point?"

Tak glared her down. "My alliance is with the Irken Military. Our rivalry may not be orthodox, but if you attempt to expose me and drag my name through the dirt like your brother, I  _ will  _ dispose of you without hesitation."

Gaz returned her glare with jaded annoyance. "I have better things to do than waste time trying to expose you. Just because Dib's life revolves around aliens and all sorts of paranormal bullshit  doesn't mean mine does too, Tak." Then, she smirked, just a little bit. "But if I wanted to expose you, I could." 

"And I could obliterate you right here if I pleased to."

"But you don't."

Tak began to speak but cut herself short. Of course that was what she wanted. It was for the sake of the mission. Every ounce of software programmed into her PAK instructed her not to stray from the mission. If destroying Gaz was what it took to aid Irk in the impending invasion, then that's what her PAK would oblige her to do. To think against her programming was unheard of. Then again, here she was, doing just that.

Surely, Gaz would compromise things somehow, but obliterating her would make the mission much less amusing. It would be a waste of a perfectly decent human slave. Then again, Gaz was the first sentient life form that had ever shown her any sort of respect. If Tak was to be stranded on a foreign planet with one other person, it would be Gaz. Maybe killing her was the more respectable-

“If you wanted to obliterate me you would’ve said something by now.”

Every Irken obscenity rushed Tak’s mind at the same time.

“Eat dirt.”

-

"Finally!" The purple clad alien exclaimed, smirking triumphantly. She took a step back to assess what she had done. It had taken several days and countless trips back to the garbage dump planet, but Tak was finally able to access the Irken extranet and get a clean connection from Earth. 

Her last commute to the planet had only lasted a few days, but Tak was pleasantly surprised to find out she  didn’t  know everything about Earth in that span of time. She learned this the inconvenient way when she attempted to reach the extranet from human devices already in her base. Admittedly, the planet's technology had made small advances in the years she had been gone, but it was still comparable to that of the most prehistoric alien colonies. Tak wasn't unfamiliar with the concept of upgrading inferior alien technology, but human tech was still a foreign area to her. 

After deeming her resources there unusable, trips to the dump planets of the galaxy where salvageable tech was abundant served as her only option. Her labor had paid off, though, as finalizing the super computer was the endmost component to completing her base. Now, with her lab fully operational, she could  finally  start planning toward the annihilation of the human race.

“Computer,” Tak addressed, smirking contently when the large screen flashed to life. “Contact the Almighty Tallest.”

Her last interaction with the Tallest had been less than an Irken year ago. Surely, they must be concerned for her welfare. The screen cut to a clean transmission of two tall Irkens. They looked at the invader inquisitively before speaking.

“What is it now Z-.. Tak?”

“You’re... Not dead!”

“I can assure you that I am in top physical condition, My Tallest.” Tak bowed her head toward her leaders. 

“Weren’t you launched into the distant void of space?” Red questioned, setting down the juice box he was holding to look.. somewhat more leader-like.

“You’re not dead!”

“My... defeat,” she could’ve choked on the word. “Was highly exaggerated.”

The co-leaders shared a glance, deciding their words carefully. 

“Our transmission shows your location is still planet Earth,” Purple started, slowly.

“Oh, you need not worry about my mission on Earth.” Tak replied, waving a dismissive hand. “In fact, I am planning my means of eradicating the human race as we speak.”

“Yes, well..” Purple was elbowed by Tallest Red at the hesitation.

“Carry on, Tak.” The crimson eyed Irken made a point of not including the “invader” title to her name. “Do  _ not  _ disappoint us again.”

Her antenna dropped in a solemn swoop flat atop her head. “Understood, My Tallest.” 

The channel was cut and the computer monitor faded dark. Tak slumped back in her chair, craning her neck over the back of the headrest and messaging her temples. That went.. smoothly. She had the motivation, the technology, the intellect.. but what Tak didn’t have was the slightest idea of a plan. If her mission proved a failure once again, Tak would most certainly be sent back to janitorial duty on another planet like Dirt; or worse. She refused to consider the “or worse” bit.

All she had to do was stay on the Tallests’ good side. After all, there was a world of difference between her and invader Zim. She never gave them hell like he did. No matter how many times had royally fucked up in his life time, Zim was still alive and well. What ill intent could they possibly have toward Tak? The thought put her at ease. 

Meanwhile, shmillions of light years away in the galaxy, the Almighty Tallest sat in the control room aboard the massive. An Earth transmission that didn’t come from Zim was unheard of. It didn’t make things less confusing when Tak, a presumed  dead  janitorial drone, had been the Irken that called them.

“Great,” Red muttered as the call ended, gesturing a slender arm toward the large computer screen before them. “Now what should we do with her . ”

“I don’t know.. UGH now we actually have to  do  something.” groaned the purple Tallest irritably. “She’s a defective. Can’t we just leave her on Earth?”

“That’s just it! We don’t know if she’s defective yet. And we won’t know until we put her under an Existance Evaluation trial. If we keep Tak on Earth, we’ll know her exact location so we can finally take her to Judgementia.”

“But- Red!” Purple protested. “What if she makes another snack related plan! I like snacks!”

His co-leader looked ready to smack him.

“That is... an absolutely BRILLIANT point!” Red praised, grinning widely. “We’ll let her supply us with Earth snacks and  then  we’ll send her to trial to be judged and possibly killed!”

Following that notion, the two burst out with uproarious laughter. It wasn’t a matter of whether a defective Irken was dangerously unpredictable or stupidly useless, for the Almighty Tallest, it was all a matter of how they used them. And defective or not, they intended on making Tak useful to them one way or another.


	4. A Selective Misanthropist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tak realizes her fondness for Gaz isn’t as “completely normal” as she thought.
> 
> Gaz struggles to accept that she wants a friend in the alien.

"Worthless human!"

A gloved fist collided with hollow wall.

"Stupid fucking freak!"

Bodies thudded harshly to the floor in a struggle.

Tak shoved the girl back with such force that she plummeted into the wall. Gaz shook her head, quickly standing and wiping some of the hot blood from a gash in her cheek. She was quickly forced back against the wall by four metal robotic legs. She hissed in pain as the sharp tendrils grazed her flesh. Tak grinned with menacing sharp teeth and pressed a piercing claw against Gaz's soft throat. The human struggled hard against PAK legs, but found her efforts to be futile.

"As you can tell, I've reinforced them with a stronger metal," Tak hummed, tracing her nail up to Gaz's cheek delicately. "Now you won't go breaking my things."

"Yeah, because it took me snapping them in half three times for you to finally do something about it." Gaz shot back, glaring her down through a mess of hair.

"You forget, I have the upper hand, here. You're nothing more than a pathetic ape and I have you cornered."

"What are you gonna do, kill me?"

Metal legs dug into Gaz's skin painfully. As bad as she wanted to vocalize obscenities at the absolute discomfort, Gaz refused to submit to anyone, especially Tak. Unamused, Tak dug her nail into a wound on Gaz's cheek. Hot crimson spilled down her gloved hand as she scratched the tough bands of muscle at the emergence of Gaz's jaw. Finally, Tak received a hushed agonized groan. Their eyes wrote paragraphs as they glared unblinkingly onto each other's orbs.

"You think you're so fucking great. Tell me, Gaz; who won this time?"

"You really get off on this shit, don't you?" Gaz spat, struggling to break free of the robotic bonds. This was absolutely killing her; and Tak was well aware of that.

Gaz's fists hammered against the wall, but no matter how she trashed and kicked and scratched, it was a fruitless effort. Usually Tak had the courtesy to leave her the smallest point of escape, if she was clever enough to find it. That wasn't the case, today. Tak wanted to win. When she knew it was hopeless, Gaz ceased her efforts.

"Who?" The claw tapped gently against tender flesh.

"You," Gaz snapped, glaring her down hatefully. "You fucking won, Tak. Happy now?"

With that, she was dropped to her feet. Tak towered above her with metal legs giving her the appearance of a giant, menacing arachnid ready to strike. Tak could kill the girl right then and there, if she wanted to. She could finally revel in the fact that she was the one in complete dominance here. She felt tall. She almost looked tall, from Gaz's point of view. But Gaz stared up undauntedly at the alien, nonetheless.

Tak caressed her rival's bruised cheek with a touch benevolent in comparison to before.

"Very."

A grumble slipped Gaz's lips but she hesitated in swatting the gentle hand away.

Time on Earth passed much quicker than it did on her planet. Tak was surprised to find it had been nearly two months since she first arrived. Surely she hadn't been there that long. Then again, as with time, things on the planet were changing. Her belated plans for the mission, her internal clock with the cycle of Earth; and namely her relationship with Gaz. Possibly, Tak really had been there a while.

As much as she wanted to, Tak couldn't deny that she had developed a certain fondness for the human girl, one that could've masked her instinctive desire to defeat her. Every moment on Earth that wasn't spent toward the impending operation was a moment wasted, but this was never the case when she was with Gaz. Tak would conclude this bizarre feeling to be completely and utterly normal. Surely the girl was nothing more than a plaything to her. Beating her down gave her a rush of pure authority; but patching her back up almost felt as good.

Currently, they were cramped close together in the small restroom of Tak's house. It was a cold and uncomfortable confinement, but Tak refused to let Gaz see any more of her base than she had already. Gaz sat on the counter while the Irken was raised by her PAK legs to examine the fresh wounds. ‘It was all for the purpose of examining human biology up close’, Tak had insisted countless times.

"Stupid girl," Tak mumbled, pressing a robotic patch to a large reddened bruise on Gaz's arm. "Next time don't make yourself such an easy target. I almost feel remorse."

"If you weren't so bad at fighting I wouldn't have to." Gaz shot back. She winced slightly at the strange yet familiar feeling of hundreds of microscopic wires digging into her pores.

"I very well could've vaporized your skull."

"But ya didn't."

"I would hate to.. compromise you." _Disgusting_. "You're still a tolerable source of Earth information."

" _Cute_." The word was enriched with sarcasm, but it still made her squeedily spooch lurch.

A human term of endearment? Was that what Tak wanted it to be? The thought was begrudgingly shoved to the back of her mind as she continued about her work.

"Human meat-vessels are feeble things." Her attention was now fixed on Gaz's cheek, swabbing the irritated gash. "When I conquer this place, none of these filthy people will make worthy soldiers. Better left to be slaughtered or sent off to do back breaking slave labor."

"As far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever you want with this shithole." Amber eyes lingered on the empty space next to Tak. "If I can make one more Irken life a living hell, I will, but it'd be a lie to say Earth is the reason."

It was a topic they had treaded over before, one that Tak could never quite wrap her head around. In the surely impossibly situation that another race conquered any planet property of the Empire, every loyal soldier would easily be outraged. Any Irken whose loyalty stood short of entirely with the Armada was deemed a traitor and banished. Maybe Gaz was defective. Yet she seemed so much more advanced.

"I don't understand." Tak stated, her violet eyes trained on Gaz inquisitively. "How can you wish destruction upon your home planet? You care so little about anything. Why?"

The teen raised a brow. It was no secret that Tak showed interest in her, even if she detested that fact. Maybe Tak was defective. Yet she seemed so much more advanced. Regardless, Gaz wasn't stupid enough to brief all she knew to the alien, but a cynic explaining to a chauvinistic Irken why she disliked her own planet so much?

"What a fucking joke," Gaz mumbled aloud, stretching back and focusing down on Tak with narrowly open eyes. "If you couldn't already tell, the people here are complete idiots. If the world was being conquered by evil alien overlords, they'd spend more time fretting over their own stupid shit to realize what the hell's going on. Why should I lose sleep agonizing over their well being when they don't concern me? I have games and pizza, the two things that make this agonizing existence enjoyable. I don't need people. I don't need Earth."

Then Gaz stood to relieve her numb ass of the cold counter.

"To put it this way, Tak, no. I don't care if you destroy this place. But I won't let you fuck up my life in the process."

Their faces were inches away, Tak could practically feel the hot human breath on her throat. Her heart rate spiraled as the most gelatinous regions of her spooch began to churn. Her heart? It went against common Irken law to praise anyone with such full emotion besides the Almighty Tallest, yet here she was, in such awe of the human before her. Gaz was so obviously unlike the rest of her kind, a misanthrope, a defect. Her emotions were broken, errors behind every thought she had toward her own, but she was something to be worshipped. Tak wanted all of that to herself.

"You're.. most tolerable."

"Don't get fucking soft." Gaz huffed. "But you're most tolerable, too, I guess."

From there, the room was silent, save for the soft buzz of the florescent bulbs above their heads. Neither of them spoke as Tak removed the robotic patches from Gaz's skin, leaving repaired flesh and healed wounds. The girl examined them, thoughtfully.

"Not bad," she nodded in Tak's direction before pushing past metal legs. "I better go."

"Gaz!" The name involuntarily pushed through Tak's lips.

She turned, expectingly. Tak felt a strange drumming through her PAK. She hadn't meant to say the name, it was like her body was betraying her mind, thinking and acting without the guide of her mechanical brain.

"I think I like you."

Immediately she dug her teeth into her tongue, but the words had already passed. A wave of unfamiliar dread washed over her. Surely she couldn't mean that. Surely somewhere in their vast barrier of understanding, Tak had mistaken every emotion she ever felt toward the human. Gaz's expression twisted into one of confusion, and after a few unbearable seconds, she replied.

"Did you just have a seizure?"

Tak didn't realize she had voiced the confession in Irken.

"Yes. Go away now." A smooth recovery.

"Whatever."

With that, Gaz slipped past PAK legs and through the bathroom door, leaving a very relieved and very confused Tak in her wake.

~

"You've been going out a lot, lately."

Gaz didn't bother looking up from her GS4 to glare at her brother.

"Yeah, so?"

Dib's complains fell upon deaf ears as he explained to her the difficulty of lugging heavy ghost hunting equipment through the woods at night alone. Her brother's confusion was none of her concern, though. In the sixteen years the two had been alive together, Gaz made it painstakingly obvious that she shared no interest in Dib or any of his bullshit. She would continue to play her game without any care as to what inconveniences she put him through, especially if it involved getting rid of him for a few hours.

Neither of them had friends. Everyone was too scared of Gaz and would rather be caught dead than to willingly be around Dib. It simply wasn't in the cards for either of them. Typically, Gaz would spent 50 percent of her time in her room bullying 30-something-year-old neckbeards on Minecraft. Why now was she spending so much time out?

Then Dib said something that very well could've gotten himself throat punched.

"Are you going out with someone?"

If looks could kill, the glare she shot him would've ripped the flesh from his skull and smothered him with it.

"Ask me that again and I'll make your stupid head explode."

"So, yes?"

The boy was quick to shut his mouth when Gaz sent the TV remote flying toward his head. It cracked hard against his skull. Slightly dazed, Dib shook his head roughly.

"Nice talk, sis."

"Shut up," Gaz called as he made his way to the garage. Then, when she knew he was gone, she let out a deep breath and slumped into the plush cushions of the couch.

Normally, Gaz wouldn't take anything that came out of her brother's mouth into mind. Maybe Tak had finally given her brain damage, for this time, she actually took something Dib had said into mild consideration; who was Tak to her? The question was one she had never cared enough about to let cross her mind, but now that it was out, she acknowledged it.

It was made apparent within the first few days of her arrival that she didn't completely despise the alien. That being said, Tak definitely wasn't her friend. Not that she didn't make a suitable acquaintance, but the title never fit with Gaz. Friends. Friends that fought and hurt each other and spat insults every time they met alone. Gaz couldn't let such a thing be the reality of her situation; then it would make too much sense why she actually enjoyed every moment around her.

The feeling was so human, so weak and pathetic. Gaz had her small share of emotions and that was all she needed. If Tak didn't feel the same way, then she refused to make a fool of herself explaining how she may have felt if they were friends.

She had learned to detest everyone, especially a rival. Why should Tak be any different?

Gaz would shove these thoughts to the back of her grim subconscious, hidden away from everyone that could see her. Still, unconsciously, she would feel the slightest pangs of envy toward Tak because she wasn't human. Perhaps it was easy for her to live in apathy; to be alone.

~

"WHAT THE _FUCK_ WAS THAT?"

The elevator shuttered as Tak's fist came down on the control panel. Fueled by impatient frustration, she wrenched her curled antenna downward as the contraption lowered her down into the laboratory.

"That bitch has compromised my PAK!"

Tak had never uttered an Earth obscenity by her lonesome before. The very idea of Gaz's dirty mouth rubbing off on her own only added to her frustration. Another aspect of her mind contaminated by the repulsive human. A vein had busted in her head by the time she arrived at her base.

"Computer!" Tak barked, cringing as bone chilling metal tubes slid from the ports in her back, discharging the mechanical brain. "Run a diagnostic test on this PAK! I think there was an Earth virus downloaded on it!"

Smooth metal tubes ran from the device into an outlet on the control board. Impatiently, Tak waited for the computer to process her PAK's software. Gaz had done something, she was sure of that. It would make sense. No thoughts such as these had ever invaded her mind before she met that girl. Now, she found her interests lying exclusively on Gaz, her mission to conquer the planet becoming more and more a side operation. Perhaps it was what Gaz wanted, to get her attention adrift from her mission. Maybe Gaz did want to ruin her.

**Virus scan complete. Analyst: 0 viruses found**.

Tak's blood ran cold.

"No.." rapidly, her fingers flew across the keys on her computer. "No, this must be a mistake. Run another scan, computer!"

To no avail, Tak could refresh the software, manually read through every string of code, and repeat the scan over and over. No virus had been programmed into her PAK and she refuted the possibility that it was an error caused on her part. Errors were only caused by defective minds. Her unpleasant thoughts were disrupted by her modified SIR unit reporting back to her by her feet. With nothing left to disprove the matter, Tak slumped down in her chair and held her head in her hands.

"She's compromised my mental being, Mimi," groaned the disconcerted Irken. "She's made me believe I love her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I’m not gonna lie
> 
> It’s 4:27 in the morning and I had a mental breakdown halfway through this because my brain no like big word. I procrastinated a lot and wrote most of this late at night after a long day of sleep deprivation. 
> 
> I promise the next chapter might actually get somewhere-


End file.
